Analyze this...

So I had lunch with GP on Friday, and unfortunately there were a distinct lack of sparks. 

He was nice but sooooo BOR-RING! he just kept going on and on and on with random boring stories. I couldn't say anything without him replying 'Oh, that reminds me of this one time when..."

He would ask me a questions, sit patiently through my reply and then launch into the BIG long story about something. It felt like the question was just an excuse to bring up a topic that he could talk about.

Like, he asked me what made me decide to take up rock drumming lessons this year, and after my response (of a suitable length), he launched into this monologue about how he...

"Finds it SO fascinating that I'm learning the drums... I love how people have so many sides to them, its so fascinating - it's like everyone has their own world made up of so many unique and different parts... and there are all these different worlds in the universe.  Like, every person is a mosaic made up of tiny little pieces or elements and they make up a bigger picture. And depending on which angle you look at them from, you see a different side... That reminds me of the tiles in my grandparent's old bathroom. There were lots of tiny little tiles and each time I looked at them I'd see a different picture. It was so amazing. It's like those 3D pictures where you see unicorns and stuff sometimes. It's so fascinating. "

By this time I was face down asleep in my Caesar salad.

We vaguely discussed seeing a movie next Wednesday night and he suggested 'Eat Pray Love'. No way Jose! The last thing this guys needs is more life philosophy!!!

After escaping lunch I walked back to work, pondering the best way to nip this thing in the bud and avoid any future 'Dr Phil'-type sessions, only to get back to me desk to find an email saying what a great time he'd had and did I want him to pick me up for the movies on Wednesday.

Since most of our interaction had taken place over the email, I decided it wasn't too inappropriate to let him down in the same manner.   Hence I sent a carefully worded response, letting him know that I enjoyed lunch (Lie!) and even though he was quite lovely (true), unfortunately I wasn't sure that the chemistry was there for us to have a romantic relationship.

He responded very graciously, saying that he understood, hoped I found someone special soon, and wished me the best of luck. 

What a relief.  Nice guy, but not for me! 

Alarm bells

I got to work this morning, prepared for my lunch date with GP (i.e. open-minded and positive) only to be greeted with the following email… 

Good Morning Beryl

I hope you had a good night sleep, you need to be well rested, after all you never know what the day may bring!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Live life as if it was your first day,

Live life as if it was your last day,

Life live as a gift,

Live life with honour and integrity,

Live life with compassion,

Live life with passion,

Live life.

Well, that is enough for my whimsical frame of mind this morning : )

GP

My face fell, my heart sunk to the pit of my stomach and loud warning bells started ringing in my ears. 

After about an hour of crisis talks with friends, I replied with:

Good morning,

Wow, Not really sure how to respond to that one...  Not used to starting my day with a motivational pep talk!

B

Thankfully my subtle message must have hit home, as he replied with:

I hope the email did not throw you off too much. I find that on the 30 minute bus trip in my mind wanders and things like what I sent to you just float through my mind. I am definitely not an ‘up there and at em, we can conquer the world’ type of guy.  Generally, I start laughing when hear that type of stuff . . . hmm . . . maybe in retrospect my email was a bit strange. Oh well, a bit strange is also part of who I am, it helps to balance out the serious analytical side.

… and then called me to apologise again, and make sure I wasn’t going to stand him up for lunch.

Feeling slightly less panicky, I assured him no permanent damage had been done, and we were back on track. 

I guess this is growing up

I've decided that I need to move on from the dysfunctional, 'bad boy' escapades of BP. 

There are a lot of great things about him… like the hours upon hours of banter that keep us awake until the early hours and have me in stitches with laughter, or the fact that he’s amazingly physically affectionate, or the way he talks about his mum, or the moments when he lets his guard down sometimes so I catch a glimpse of the vulnerable boy inside, or how he looks in his tradie uniform…  in his big truck … with his messy, dirty hair and sexy three-day-growth beard … and his big hands and brooding eyes.  

Ahem.  Sorry.  Lost my train of thought there for a minute. 

But there are unfortunately an equal amount of bad things about him.   Like the way he pushes my buttons with sarcastic remarks to wind me up into an argument when he knows I’m bothered by something.  Or the way he points out ‘prettier’ girls and asks me to ‘get them for him, for his birthday’ (yeah, NOT cool). 

Even though I know that there isn’t a future there, cutting him off really hasn't been that easy.  I know it's an age-old question but, seriously, What is it about those bad boys that makes them SOOOO hard to resist!?

Oh thats right, it's the fact that they reek of testosterone, are sexy as hell and the emotional highs and lows they subject us to can be as addictive as crack cocaine. 

Not to mention the dirty, mind-blowing bedroom escapades.

HOWEVER...  dirty bad boys are for playing with in your 20's.  Whereas your 30's are for finding someone functional, caring and ‘grown up’ to settle down with. 

And this is why I accepted a blind date with GP last Saturday night. 

I met GP (an accountant for a university) on-line and after only four days of emails (I should point out - very charming, open, warm and sensitive emails) he asked for the pleasure of my company for dinner.

Deciding that rather than pro-long the inevitable (and potentially waste a few weeks of good internet dating energy on someone who I might not have a connection with in real life), I accepted.

Now, GP was ticking every box. 

• He was interested and pro-active (without being pushy or creepy)
• he suggested a few very high-end, classy venues for dinner but invited me to chose any place that I'd be most comfortable
• he thought of a meeting place that would be easy to find, public enough to not be intimidating yet private enough to allow for that awkward 'first meeting' moment without too many people to witness it.
• he invited me to chose the wine at dinner and made sure I had the best seat at the table
• he was charming and chatty and easy-to-talk to during the meal, comfortably covering any uncomfortable silences and making me laugh with his silly stories
• after dinner he walked me to my car, gave me a kiss on the cheek and then stood there while I drove off to make sure I got away ok
• then followed up about 20 minutes later with a text message saying he had a lovely time and was looking forward to seeing me again.

Now, any girl in her right mind would be getting rather excited at all of this.  It certainly sounds like the kind of dating experience we all hope for.

But for the life of me, I wasn't able to work out why I wasn't swooning at this guy's feet. 

It was very hard to put my finger on but I think I finally worked out.  He was just kind of boring. And 'dorky'. Not that dorky is a deal breaker, but as he relaxed with me more, the dorkiness escalated to a scale that is probably inappropriate for a first date.  

Like his enthusiastic explanation of his fascination with fantasy comedy novels.  He described them as being set in a world similar to the 18th century but with witches and warlocks roaming the streets.  Hmmm. 

Anyway.  In the interest of keeping an open mind and not jumping to conclusions, I've agreed to go out with him again, just to be sure.  I’ll keep you posted, we have a lunch date on Friday.