I've decided that I need to move on from the dysfunctional, 'bad boy' escapades of BP.
There are a lot of great things about him… like the hours upon hours of banter that keep us awake until the early hours and have me in stitches with laughter, or the fact that he’s amazingly physically affectionate, or the way he talks about his mum, or the moments when he lets his guard down sometimes so I catch a glimpse of the vulnerable boy inside, or how he looks in his tradie uniform… in his big truck … with his messy, dirty hair and sexy three-day-growth beard … and his big hands and brooding eyes.
Ahem. Sorry. Lost my train of thought there for a minute.
But there are unfortunately an equal amount of bad things about him. Like the way he pushes my buttons with sarcastic remarks to wind me up into an argument when he knows I’m bothered by something. Or the way he points out ‘prettier’ girls and asks me to ‘get them for him, for his birthday’ (yeah, NOT cool).
Even though I know that there isn’t a future there, cutting him off really hasn't been that easy. I know it's an age-old question but, seriously, What is it about those bad boys that makes them SOOOO hard to resist!?
Oh thats right, it's the fact that they reek of testosterone, are sexy as hell and the emotional highs and lows they subject us to can be as addictive as crack cocaine.
Not to mention the dirty, mind-blowing bedroom escapades.
HOWEVER... dirty bad boys are for playing with in your 20's. Whereas your 30's are for finding someone functional, caring and ‘grown up’ to settle down with.
And this is why I accepted a blind date with GP last Saturday night.
I met GP (an accountant for a university) on-line and after only four days of emails (I should point out - very charming, open, warm and sensitive emails) he asked for the pleasure of my company for dinner.
Deciding that rather than pro-long the inevitable (and potentially waste a few weeks of good internet dating energy on someone who I might not have a connection with in real life), I accepted.
Now, GP was ticking every box.
- He was interested and pro-active (without being pushy or creepy)
- he suggested a few very high-end, classy venues for dinner but invited me to chose any place that I'd be most comfortable
- he thought of a meeting place that would be easy to find, public enough to not be intimidating yet private enough to allow for that awkward 'first meeting' moment without too many people to witness it.
- he invited me to chose the wine at dinner and made sure I had the best seat at the table
- he was charming and chatty and easy-to-talk to during the meal, comfortably covering any uncomfortable silences and making me laugh with his silly stories
- after dinner he walked me to my car, gave me a kiss on the cheek and then stood there while I drove off to make sure I got away ok
- then followed up about 20 minutes later with a text message saying he had a lovely time and was looking forward to seeing me again.
Now, any girl in her right mind would be getting rather excited at all of this. It certainly sounds like the kind of dating experience we all hope for.
But for the life of me, I wasn't able to work out why I wasn't swooning at this guy's feet.
It was very hard to put my finger on but I think I finally worked out. He was just kind of boring. And 'dorky'. Not that dorky is a deal breaker, but as he relaxed with me more, the dorkiness escalated to a scale that is probably inappropriate for a first date.
Like his enthusiastic explanation of his fascination with fantasy comedy novels. He described them as being set in a world similar to the 18th century but with witches and warlocks roaming the streets. Hmmm.
Anyway. In the interest of keeping an open mind and not jumping to conclusions, I've agreed to go out with him again, just to be sure. I’ll keep you posted, we have a lunch date on Friday.